Arts and Culture

Islam and I - Conversion, is it right or wrong?

pam uppal, Canada, Friday 14 December 2007

This is a story about my personal findings of Islam and what I always made it out to be. This is about my biases and more than likely of many more people in this world. This is actually about finding myself and where I fit in best and belong, because where I feel I belong is where ALLAH the merciful resides and I need to find a connection to him.

Let me first of all begin by telling you that I am born into a Sikh family and the religion and its teaching have been drilled into me just like any other person have grown up into. I believe that religion is a way and guidance and a teaching to how to connect with GOD and of course then there is also the political side to it where I quite frankly don’t want to go. Religion is what we perceive it to be.

Let me ask you a question first of all and I would really appreciate honest feedback on this. Do you feel that a person man or women from what ever walk of life has the right to change his/her religion if they don’t feel the connection in their own? Or do you feel that if GOD wanted you to be a different religion then he would have made sure you were born in to it? In answering this question please consider the modern world and the rights that we are given.

So the way my story goes is like this: All my 28 years I have believed that Islam is the most strictest and most disciplined religion in the world, it is the most despised and the Muslims think only of degrading women, and they prefer quantity over quality in Islam. Oh but was I wrong or what. These biases were embedded into me to an extreme where I wouldn’t want to cross paths with a Muslim with out feeling disgust. Imagine so much hatred one can have with out being knowledgeable and versed in Islam let alone his/her own religion! This hated has or I should say had been developed by communities and people around me and also by Muslims them selves who I have had bad experiences with. At the time of course it was more so blame it on the Muslims game that I played, how ever now I say we have bad experiences with people from all walks of life don’t we does this mean that ? I should hate everyone?

I am not happy because the more I try to develop my spiritual intellect and find the right path to GOD the more I feel sad. I have always felt that I don’t belong in Sikhism. Imagine that? Just as your name is your identity so is your religion, and what am I suppose to say when I don’t fit in anywhere? At this point in life I went though a very conflictual and painful time and turned to Christianity. There was so much there that contradicted it self, and even a belief that when judgment day comes after the rapture and revelations that Jesus Christ will only be taking those who believe in him along with him and of course not in so many words what was said is that you need to be a Christian for this to happen. I’m not agreeing with so much of this and again found myself lost and questioning my self as to where I fit in. Now I also want to add here that my feelings were very confused here because I didn’t know where to seek advice and felt that I cannot be jumping from one religion to another, or can I?

At this point in life I sought refuge in God and asked him to let me know in his own way what the bigger picture is for me and where it is that I need to go. Then entered a person in my life who is very special to me and we have grown to be fabulous friends and he asked me a question: He said to me why did you hate Muslims so much, I am one too and you don’t hate me? What have you sought in Christianity and have you gained that? Why did you turn to Christianity? All these questions I could not reply to but what I knew was that after talking to him I need to research on Islam and I need to do it now. My findings were amazing and my views and thoughts have changed so much that I will never ever just say ALLAH but when ever I talk to him and of him I will refer to him by one of his 99+ names given to him. When talking about Prophet Muhammad I will say PBUH. I have a big folder full of findings and I am still adding to it. Let’s just say that I am so engulfed and delighted but all this that I know for sure that there will be many more articles I will be writing. Just before I end this I will let you readers know, that, I have not yet converted but something in me is telling me that I need to, I fit in. I truly believe when the time is right ALLAH the greatest will have mercy upon me and show me the way. Yes there are many signs but I know he will tell me when the time has arrived. My only fear or concern right now is the ramifications that will come upon me when and if I convert. One way I see it is that I will gain so much by this and on the other side loose my family who are strictly Sikh and for this I pray everyday because God will show me the way. Someone said to me “ask your self do you want to be the person who on his/he death bed calls for his mother or the one who utters the name of the wise one “ALLAH?” I know which one I want to be do you know who you want to be?

Please look out for my next article and then I will share with you my most amazing experience when I was dared to wear the Hijab for 2 days, and myself being a bit of a dare devil, decided to take the dare on. What I felt I will share with you because I know better now from my own personal experience that it is not just a cloth ……….